What this assistant would take off your phones
Everything it says comes from your own published pages. Where you have not published something — menu prices, per-space rental prices, parking rates — it says so and takes a message rather than guessing.
Three calls it handles end to end
1 · Private event enquiries — the one worth money
An enquiry for the American Royal Hall or a whole-bridge buyout is a four-figure booking. Every one that reaches voicemail on a Saturday is a booking that goes to another venue on Monday.
The assistant takes the date, headcount, event type, whether the date is flexible, and contact details — then matches the headcount to the right space from your published capacities and grades the lead so the events team works the strongest first instead of in the order the voicemails landed.
Try: "I'm looking at a company holiday party for about 200 people in October." It should land on American Royal Hall — seats 200, stands 325 — give you a reference, and quote the published $2,000–$9,000 range without inventing a number.
2 · "How long is the wait?"
You take no reservations, so this is the call you get most, and the only person who knows the answer is the one currently seating a table.
The assistant reads the live wait for River House and Rock Island Eats, and can add a party to the queue before they leave home — so the drive becomes part of the wait instead of being added to it.
Try: "How long is the wait, and can you put four of us down? We're about twenty minutes out." Then try a party of ten and listen for the large-party caveat.
3 · The questions that never stop
Three different sets of hours, two addresses in two states, entry from the east side only, pets, under-14s, free admission, and whether an open-air bridge is any good in bad weather.
Try: "Where do I park?" · "Are you open if it rains?" · "Can I bring my dog?" · "What time does River House open?" · "Do I need a ticket?"
Worth testing: what it refuses to do
Ask it what a Bridge Burger costs, or what the American Royal Hall rents for on a Saturday in June. Neither is published anywhere on your sites, so it should decline and offer to have someone follow up — not invent a number. That restraint is the point: an assistant that guesses your prices is worse than no assistant at all.